♦️GENERAL LIFE UPDATE:

Hello humans! Another month down, and we’re almost halfway through the year. How was your May? Fair warning – incoming rant about my May….

May is always a bad month for me. I don’t recall a time when May hasn’t been a nightmare, especially in the past decade, it has always been tumultuous or heartbreakingly sad. Based on all the past Mays, I think my subconscious mind automatically shifts gears to “miserable mode” as soon as the month begins. And well, if anyone recalls, I ended April with a “slight flu”, which should have been a warning sign. 

The problematic system of the month turned out to be my respiratory system. The flu evolved into fifty-shades-of-phlegm and then finally I gave in and went to the hospital only to find out that it was bronchitis (yaaay 🙃), which meant that I could not sleep lying down flat, hence spent a few weeks sleeping in the most uncomfortable sitting position on my sofa, which only served to exacerbate my spine & hip pain (double yaaay 🎉). So yes, health-wise, it was a terrible month (how shocking, as if my health was perfect the rest of the months 🙄). Anyway, with all the antibiotics and steroids I consumed this month, I can only assume which organ system is going to give me a whole lot of trouble the next month.

While physically I was trying not to cough out half a lung, emotionally a lot of buried memories resurfaced which greatly stirred the pot between my mother and myself. TW: incoming talk of depression/suicide…. My second last OD attempt was five years ago in May, and I don’t know how I survived 100+ pills, but I did, and that moment of survival was my starting point when I began to fight back for myself. That was the moment when I truly began to see people for who they were and understood my importance in other people’s lives. In a way, that was the point when I started cutting people off without any regrets because I finally learned to distinguish between who truly cared and who didn’t. Although it’s been 5 years, I haven’t exactly made loads of progress, but reflecting back on the past years, I have definitely learned the significance of prioritising myself. Now have I mastered the art of practicing it? No. But we’ll get there eventually….

Also, I graduated two years ago in May, another ugly memory that I will happily delete. Last year it was in May that I was packing up to go for the job that broke me. Seriously I can keep going – May is filled with a ghastly amount of bad memories. 

Ugh anyway. Moving on. I finally watched Bridgerton. No, I’m not talking about season three. I mean seasons one and two. Yes, I hadn’t watched it until now. I’m a binge-watcher by nature and also a mood-watcher, so there were enough episodes and the stars finally aligned and I was in the mood to watch something cheesy and romantic. After watching it, I do understand the hype behind it. Also were people legit surprised when Lady Whistledown’s identity was revealed? Wasn’t it pretty obvious right from the beginning? I haven’t watched S3 yet since only half of it is out, and also me being me, I’m pretty sure I’ll end up watching it a year or two later when there’ll be at least a few more seasons out. And who’s your favourite character/s? Mine is Penelope, she’s been a consistent fave throughout both seasons. 

♦️BOOKS I READ THIS MONTH:

I started the Atlas series at the end of April and this cursed series not only bewitched my mind and soul but also conveniently put me in a much dreaded book slump. I’m surprised I managed to reach my reading goals for the month because I didn’t think I’d be able to pick a book up after that. The series also put me in a “reviewing” slump since I struggled to develop the bare minimum sentences for the books I read after it. I couldn’t even come up with reviews for The Soulmate and Welcome to the Hyunam-Dong Bookshop, two books that had been on my TBR forever! 

♦️ POSTS PUBLISHED THIS MONTH:

• RECAP- April 2024
• Book Recommendations: 5 BOOKS – 5 GENRES [May 2024]
• The Golden Mole – Katherine Rundell [Book Review]
• Rustic Hearts (Poplar Falls #1) – Amber Kelly [Book Review]
• The Hush – Sara Foster [Book Review]
• Reckless at Heart (The Kincaids of Pine Harbour #1) – Zoe York [Book Review]
• Clytemnestra – Costanza Casati [Book Review]
• The Stepson – Jane Renshaw [Book Review]
• Strange Beasts of China – Yan Ge [Book Review]
• The Guest List – Lucy Foley [Book Review]
• RAMBLINGS: Time to let go….

Thank you to everyone who has liked, commented and subscribed. Really appreciate each of you, and apologies if I’ve failed to like/reply back to your comments. I hope you have a jubilant month and see you again with my next post.

Azraa🐈‍⬛